but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Randomize
