You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
