I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
