Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Just high enough for therapy.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
