there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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