I swear she didn't look like that last week.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
