Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
