ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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