i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
