Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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