Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
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