My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
