So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
where am i from again
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize
