I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
