forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
