She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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