It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
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