i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
i love accidental penises.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
