i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
