i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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