just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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