I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
We need to feng shui this bitch.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
