Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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