PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
