Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Randomize
