Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
