They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
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