Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
