My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
