uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
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