Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
