I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
