saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
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