what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
