If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
