I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
The chlamydia really affected his face.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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