If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
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