The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I have peed in a lot of sinks
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
