Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
