I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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