Well douche your snatch and let's go!
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Randomize
