I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
