wrigley field is MILF paradise
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
