I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
