i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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