and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
