i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
