YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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