she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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