You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
