God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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