i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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