Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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