It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
