oh god the rape fog is back!
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
