The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
