I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
